7 Ways to Honor the Child You Lost to Miscarriage

Losing a child that you had so many hopes and dreams for can be incredibly painful. Here are 7 things you can do to honor your baby:

1. Give your baby a name. If you haven’t named your baby yet, consider giving them a name.  Giving them a name validates them.  They were real.  They did exist, even if your closest friends never got to meet them.
2. Plant a tree or create a small flower garden in your baby’s honor. Other people may never know, but it may give you peace to have a special place to remember your baby.
3. Create a memory book or box full of baby items. This could include ultrasound pictures, baby blankets, an outfit you had purchased for them, a stuffed animal, etc. When you’re missing your baby, you can have something tangible to hold onto.
4. Take your spouse out to dinner on their due date.  It can be a meaningful time to reminisce and realize that even though their life was cut short, they still matter and are remembered.
5. You may choose to sponsor a Compassion Child that is born on their due date.  Your heart is so full of love and this could be a beautiful way to honor your baby by caring for a child who really needs your help.
6. Write a letter to your baby.  This may be painful to do, but writing out your feelings can be quite therapeutic.  Years later, you can read exactly how you were feeling at the time.
7. Be a support to other moms who have experienced a miscarriage.  It’s so helpful to talk about what you’ve been through and sharing something so painful with others bonds you together.  Helping someone through their own loss is a special way to honor your baby.

I was a mom just like you.  I miscarried Adam on July 28, 1994.  No matter how many years go by, he is still remembered.  In looking for a way to honor him, and to help other women have a tangible way to honor their children, I created the Wearloom®. It’s a charm necklace and the first charm is a little birdie charm meant to represent those babies lost to miscarriage. I love having something tangible to wear on those days that I am missing him.

I also started a Facebook group called Grief to Gold where you can get support whenever you need it. Please join us and share your story.  You are not alone.

- Cynthia Schnee